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I just finished a great book called “Talent is Overrated” by Geoff Colvin. The book taught me so much, but also confirmed some of my own beliefs about the value of hard work. The book emphasizes how little success has to do with talent and how great achievers and performers succeeded more on hard work and efficient practicing.

Many couples that I work almost always go through a stage where they feel like things are never going to improve. My most common response is that it took years to get where you are and it’s not going to take only a handful of sessions to miraculous fix things. It takes commitment and hard work to make it in a relationship. I have never met anyone who has a great relationship that would not acknowledge that it’s hard work everyday to keep it great.

The question I commonly ask couples is “How bad do you want to make this relationship work?” If a couple commits to the process then the relationship will ABSOLUTELY succeed. The only thing that makes a relationship fail is one of the partners quitting.

Couples therapy (couples counseling Santa Clarita) is not some secret language that requires high level intelligence. It is very practical and straight forward if you agree on some basic rules for how to treat one another and you learn to process the things that arise during disagreements and conflict. Then it is about repetition and consistently in discussing unique relationship problems.

My simple philosophy for couples counseling is that each couple needs to know their issues and have the communication skills to address it. Along the path to addressing these issues the communication part is defining the rules you two agree on in your particular relationship, for example, no name calling, acts of aggression, or throwing the past in each others face.

I am a couples counselor in Santa Clarita. If my advice leaves you still feeling like maybe it’s just too late or you just want some additional support contact us today for your first free session 661-932-8200.