Do I dare ask that question? Even as I read the title I feel the guilt. In an ideal world, the answer is clearly, “No.” However, we don’t live in an ideal world and dealing with the everyday stresses of life can be downright overwhelming. When you add children to the mix, overwhelming becomes inconceivable. Most people have a difficult time even admitting how unhappy they are during the tumultuous childrearing years because of the joy children should bring. So what is the first thing you lose when things get rough? The connection to your spouse. People commonly operate on the belief that you should sacrifice now to benefit later. Unfortunately, in a time when 50 percent of marriages end, later may never come.

It is absolutely critical that marriages contain consistent, quality, alone time. This is the foundation on which success of the marriage is determined. Quality alone time is a major refueling of emotionally drained couples. Without it, your marriage lasting is a crap shoot. Are you willing to gamble on the success of your marriage? Many couples have drifted so far away from each other that they are not even sure what to do with each other anymore. Well, the problem is not going to fix itself and the longer you wait the harder it will be to reconnect and the more likely you will never do so.

So what is the first step? Start small, there is no way you cannot make some commitment to one another even if it is only a date night twice per month. You should also add periods during the week where you can just talk for 30 minutes to an hour, 1 to 2 times per week. I promise this can work magic.

Sex is also a must. You need to understand how each other work in this manner. We all know that most woman want conversation and to feel close before intimacy, and we also know that men want sex before they will open up. Well, compromise is key. Figure out what will work in order for you each to get as close as possible to what you want.

If you and your spouse can stay connected then kids will never tear you apart and should bring you closer together. If your marriage is already too far gone and my advice seems unrealistic then contact us today for your first free session with one of our outstanding therapists.