Many couples that enter therapy have reported that they don’t address issues and have always just hoped that things would get better or work themselves out. However, they later realized that because they never addressed their problems they developed resentment, animosity, or disconnection from their partner.
I believe that this reluctance to address problems in intimate relationships occur for many reasons. The most common reasons are, either the couple does not have confidence that the relationship can endure what is required to fix the problem, one or both partners does not believe the other partner can adequately problem solve with them, there is just a plain lack of awareness that there is a problem, or one or both partners was not brought up in a way that problems were ever discussed, instead problems were just swept under the rug.
How do you know if there are problems in your relationship that are not being addressed? Well, for starters, ask yourself or your partner these questions.
Are you happy with your relationship? Why or why not?
When you argue, are issues from the past thrown in your face?
This is the best question for finding out if there are underlying resentments. When people argue and throw things in each others face, then it is clear that there is unresolved issues.
Do you feel confident that the two of you can work out just about any problem through discussion?
If you cannot work out problems that you have with each other then at some point either you two will grow apart, which only leads to disconnection, discontent, and most likely divorce.
At Goodman Therapy, we specialize in helping couples learn to communicate by teaching each partner to develop their own style of communication that will allow them to work together on any issues that arise in their relationship, so contact us today for your first free session to allow us to help you.